The Women's Leadership Dilemma: Are We Uplifting Women at the Cost of Men’s Wholeness?
How Unhealed Wounds Create Division and Why the Next Generation Needs a New Approach.
Introduction
In today’s cultural conversations about gender, leadership, and empowerment, there is a growing rhetoric that unintentionally fuels division rather than healing. Many women are stepping into their power—but in the process, some are unknowingly perpetuating narratives that shame masculinity, vilify men, and create a false opposition between the genders.
This isn’t just about masculinity as a set of behaviors, but about men’s wholeness—their ability to show up fully integrated, emotionally strong, and confident in both their leadership, identity, and role as men in society. When we undermine this wholeness, we don’t just diminish men; we create a ripple effect that impacts families, workplaces, and future generations.
Just as women want to be respected for what we bring to the table, men also want to be respected for who they are as a whole. True equality is not about elevating one gender at the expense of another—it’s about fostering respect, collaboration, and balance so that both men and women can thrive. Instead of stereotyping or generalizing, we must allow both genders to navigate their own growth without diminishing or vilifying one another. The healthiest way to address challenges is through individual conversations and accountability, rather than broad cultural narratives that label an entire gender as problematic.
The question is: Are we uplifting women in a way that fosters true equality, or are we creating a dynamic that undermines men’s ability to lead, thrive, and contribute fully in their essential role as men in society?
The Root of the Rhetoric: Victimization vs. Empowerment
Yes, much of the "shaming the male gender" or "over-glorifying the female gender" rhetoric seems to stem from unhealed wounds—personal experiences of being hurt, disrespected, or even outright victimized by men in the past. Instead of healing and integrating those experiences, some people externalize them into a narrative that places all men into the category of "the problem."
This is not only unfair but also disempowering, because:
It keeps women stuck in their own wound. Instead of doing the inner work to process and transcend the experience, they continue to project the pain externally.
It projects personal pain onto an entire group. Just as women don’t want to be generalized, neither do men. Making men the villain doesn't create healing—it creates more division.
It disintegrates a woman’s relationship with her own inner masculine. If we vilify "masculinity" externally, we unconsciously suppress our own masculine energy—the part of us that takes action, sets boundaries, and takes a stance.
The Bigger Consequence: A Fractured Internal Balance
For women, fully stepping into their complete power means honoring both their feminine (intuition, nurturing, receptivity)and their masculine (structure, action, agency). If we subconsciously reject masculinity due to negative projections onto men, we also reject the part of ourselves that allows us to build, act, and take a stand in the world.
Ironically, this leads to the exact opposite of empowerment. Instead of stepping into full sovereignty, women can end up:
Feeling passive, reactive, or unable to take a stand for themselves and move forward in their lives.
Over-relying on external validation (needing collective "girl power" to feel strong, rather than cultivating their own inner strength).
Engaging in perpetual struggle against men, which energetically depletes them instead of supporting their own growth.
The True Empowerment Path: Integration Over Annihilation
Instead of framing empowerment as a fight against men, a more integrative and holistic approach would be:
Doing the inner work to heal past wounds without making them an identity.
Embracing and cultivating both feminine and masculine aspects in ourselves.
Relating to men as individuals rather than symbols of past harm.
Engaging in direct conversations over broad narratives (with appropriate boundaries as necessary).
At the end of the day, true leadership and sovereignty come from integrating both sides of ourselves, rather than engaging in a cycle of projection and reaction. This is the only way to break the cycle of victimization and step into our true empowerment.
A New Approach: Seeing Masculinity and Femininity as Energies, Not Just Genders
One of the most important shifts we can make is to stop equating masculinity and femininity with men and women, respectively. These are energies, not just identities. When we see people as individuals rather than gender-based roles, we open up space for a deeper understanding of human nature, leadership, and self-awareness.
As women, we can fully step into our power while also honoring, respecting, and integrating masculinity—both in men and within ourselves. This means:
Seeing masculine and feminine energies as complementary, rather than as opposing forces.
Recognizing how we are projecting our wounds onto others and taking responsibility for our healing.
Leading from wholeness, where action and receptivity, structure and flow, strength and intuition exist in harmony.
Context Matters: Avoiding Unnecessary Division
Not every comment or action by a man is an attack on women, just as not every empowered woman is trying to diminish men. Context matters.
If a comment is an isolated incident, it may not be worth overanalyzing. If it’s a pattern of behavior, then addressing it becomes important.
Boundaries & Direct Communication – Instead of making it a battle of genders, the most effective response is to address the individual directly if something bothers you. This keeps the focus on personal responsibility and mutual respect rather than feeding into a larger culture of blame.
Men & Women Both Engage in Joking – Many of the comments that are labeled as "sexist" are also said in different contexts about men. The same comment about a purse could be said about golf clubs or an expensive watch, but we are conditioned to interpret it differently. Recognizing this can help us respond with clarity rather than reaction.
Encouraging Self-Awareness Instead of Reactivity – The best way forward is to model self-awareness, maturity, and direct communication rather than feeding into outrage culture. Teaching people how to handle situations in real-time is far more effective than telling them what they should be offended by.
Connecting This to a Larger Conversation
This perspective was inspired by a recent article in Fast Company discussing the resurgence of "bro culture" in the workplace and how women are responding to it. While the article highlights real challenges, it also raises the question: Are we pushing back in a way that creates healing, or are we unknowingly fostering division?
If we as women truly want to create a workplace, society, and home life that are more balanced and inclusive, we must start healing ourselves and go beyond resistance and into integration—where both masculine and feminine qualities are honored and respected in everyone.
If You Don’t Know Where to Start, Let’s Talk.
If this resonates with you but you’re unsure how to begin healing, you’re not alone. Many women feel this tension but don’t know how to navigate it in a way that is empowering, balanced, and aligned with their values.
This work is not just for us, but for the next generation. If you’re ready to explore this, let’s have a conversation. Reach out to me, and let’s start shifting the narrative—together. 🚀🔥
